When we lose a sense of control or certainty in life, it’s natural to seek reassurance through signs and reason. Insecurities often stem from our relationships, career, health, and finances. ‘Are they the one?’ ‘Should I quit my job?’ ‘When will I fall in love?’. Questions so big, it feels irresponsible to leave them in the hands of time to answer. So, what do we do when dating apps fail us? You can swear off them and try it the ‘old-fashioned way’, pore through self-help books, subscribe to Jay Shetty or Matthew Hussey podcasts, or take our relationship advice from a TikTok ‘psychic’ who is adamant that your soulmate is in love with you but they can’t tell you (oh, joy). Or, you could learn about your birth chart.
FQ’s digital editor Louise Dunn chats with Emma Vidgen, author of The Astrology Of You: Finding Love Creativity and Soul Purpose In Your Birth Chart, who recently partnered with Bumble as their resident astrologer.
According to Vidgen, “our personalities are expressed in exquisite detail in the birth chart which is a picture of the sky from the moment we were born,” she explains. “Every person has every sign of the zodiac in their birth chart, but some signs will be more heavily emphasised than others.”
Furthermore, our birth charts indicate how we communicate and resolve conflict, what we need to feel safe and loved, as well as our approach to pleasure are all spelt out in our chart. “Understanding your chart gives you a deeper insight into the things that make you, you. When you understand yourself, you can’t help but be a more mindful partner or friend in relationships,” she adds.
Below, Louise discovers how you can use your birth chart to help you navigate, and understand, how your birth chart can impact some of life’s biggest decisions (including her own).
Emma Vidgen, author of The Astrology Of You: Finding Love Creativity and Soul Purpose In Your Birth Chart
Q&A with Bumble's resident astrologist Emma Vidgen
How should someone approach using astrology to inform their dating choices without solely relying on it?
“Astrology is a language that helps us understand ourselves. Ultimately it is a tool for self-discovery, and it’s in getting to know ourselves better that we can grow and evolve and be more conscious in the choices we make about love. In my opinion, that can only be a good thing.”
What role do planetary placements, such as Venus and Mars, play in shaping our romantic preferences and behaviours?
“Venus describes our relationship to pleasure, how we have fun, and our approach to social situations. It’s all about flirting and play, and probably something that’s more significant in the early stages of a relationship.
“Mars describes how we deal with confrontation so it’s innately connected to how well we can resolve conflict in relationships – which is important in long-term relationships. It also speaks to our sex drive, and physical chemistry – what turns us on, on a primal, physical level.”
Can astrology offer guidance on navigating challenges and conflicts within a relationship, based on the compatibility and characteristics of the individuals involved?
“Understanding our Mars placement (and that of our partner) can help to deepen your awareness of how you deal with conflict. Once you understand how well (or not-so-well) you handle it, you can start to become more aware of what you might need to facilitate healthy conflict.
“Mercury rules the way we communicate and express ourselves so it’s a really important signature to consider in the context of relationships and conflict resolution too.”
Are there certain zodiac signs that are naturally more drawn to long-term commitments and serious relationships, while others might prefer more casual connections?
“There are definitely signs that have more of a proclivity to long-term relationships (earth signs – Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) but there is certainly no reason why any sign wouldn’t commit.”
How can astrology help individuals understand their own love language and communication style, as well as that of their partners?
“Reading up on your moon sign is a great place to start (you’ll need to cast your chart to figure out what sign your moon falls in – you can do that at theastrologyofyou.com)
“The moon describes what you need to feel loved and secure in relationships. It also describes how you like to show your love. Once you understand that, it’s much easier to ask for what you need, and also notice all the ways your partner is expressing their devotion (often, they’re doing it in their own special way, we just aren’t sensitive to their love language).”
Based on looking at my chart, can you provide examples of how understanding my astrological birth chart informs the type of partners I’d have success deepening a relationship with?
“With the moon in Virgo, you’re someone who feels loved and secure in a relationship where there is a mutual language via small but practical acts of service. It’s the little things that matter. Connecting with someone who truly appreciates all the little things you do for them and will show you the same thoughtful consideration in return, is key.
“With your descendant in Aquarius, you need someone with big ideas. Intellectual chemistry is an absolute must, so using a function like Bumble’s Speed Dating which allows you to chat without revealing any photos could be a great way to really let your intellect lead the way. You’ll feel most balanced by a partner who can zoom out and see the bigger picture – a true innovator who has big ambitions to shake things up.”
In your opinion, what specific traits or characteristics of each zodiac sign tend to contribute to successful and harmonious relationships?
“The most important thing to remember about compatibility and astrology is that we all have every sign represented somewhere in our chart. I’m yet to read for someone who hasn’t found common ground, somewhere. It’s a big generalisation, but to give you some keywords:
Aries: relationships where they have space to be impulsive
Taurus: relationships where they have space to set the pace
Gemini: relationships where they have the space to be their own person
Cancer: relationships where they have space to express their emotions
Leo: relationships where they have space to be admired
Virgo: relationships where they have space to feel needed
Libra: relationships where they have the space to be heard
Scorpio: relationships where they have the space to be elusive
Sagittarius: relationships where they have space – full stop!
Capricorn: relationships where they have space to commit completely
Aquarius: relationships where they have space to truly be themselves
Pisces: relationships where they have space to give themselves over to love, completely
Make the first move...
With mercury coming out of retrograde and #astrologydating amassing over 16.9 million TikTok views, the desire for Kiwis to understand star signs has never been higher.
Enter Astrolove: a term coined by Bumble that explores the intersection of astrology and compatibility. Bumble’s astrology badges are one of the most popular lifestyle badges with their community, with recent data showing people in NZ who added the astrology badge to their profile experience 81% more matches in a month than those who don’t.
Make the first move and join Bumble.
